Monday, October 13, 2014

Behind Blue Eyes

Happy Birthday
 to the Greatest Man I have ever known. 
Randall Joe Graham (Orbit) aka Randy
Oct 13th, 1961- Jan 12th, 2011
It has been almost 4 years since my Father passed away, and not a single moment in time goes by where he is not on my mind. My father taught me a lot of things in life, but the strongest lesson he ever taught me was that life is too short to live in the past and to regret things. 
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once wrote 
" we are all architects of fate, so look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again." 

Some memories will stay forever etched into our minds, and the moment I learned my father had passed is still just as vivid in my mind as it was then. They say with time, all things are healed, but I believe that statement to be false. Time does not heal, it covers, it allows you to learn how to live with out some one. It is simply a band aid we put over our wounds, in hopes that they will heal, but once they do we are left with a scar, a constant reminder of the past, the tragedy and the pain. 
My father was only 49 when he passed away, and it completely and utterly devastated me. You see, I share a special bond that not many people are able to share with the parent. The day my father turn 25, I was born into this world, and ever since I have shared that special bond with my father.
My Father was an extraordinary soul, he grace my life with his presence for as long as he could. He taught me in many ways, the type of person I should become. I can not say my father was the best role model in my life, but I can say with much love and adoration, that he did the best he could to do right by me and my siblings. 

My father was the first man in my life, and in being so, he taught me how to love, how to fall, and how to pick my self up. He taught me how to ride a bike,
 but not just any bike, a dirt bike. My father made every effort to be in my life, he attended every school event I had, especially if it was a sport event. He was my coach in baseball, and pushed me to be a fair and team player. He inspired me to love animals the same way he did. I can remember from some of my earliest memories that we always had a dog. I can name at least 5-10 dogs we had while growing up. He taught me that no matter where you are in life, if you try your best that is all that matters. 

Some of you may know the life my father lead wasn't always the best. He made poor choices in his life that ultimately lead to his death.  Although my father was not all ways present in my life, he did make and effort to remind me of the fact that he loved me very much. My father had a rough life, his father walked out on his mom and left my dad and uncle with no explanation. He was just gone, this is the start of what lead my father down a troubled path, and the last song he sang to me was
" Behind Blue Eyes." by the Who-  This song sums up how my dad felt about his life, his struggles, and his addiction.

The last memory I have of my father was just after my 24th birthday, he and his wife joined me for dinner at La Palmera in Everett. It was the first time in many years that I saw my father completely sober.  It was amazing to see, the changes he had made, and devastating that a short four months later he would leave this world for good. 

My fathers body may no longer walk this earth, but his soul remains forever, broken in to piece and lodged in every heart he ever touched. At his core my Father was and is a loving and gentle soul. 

 'Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like a stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.' -John Steinbeck 
Here is to you Dad, 
I am grateful for all that you are and all that you were. 
I love you and miss you. 
Celebrate in Heaven
For today you turn 53 Dad, 
and I turn 28.
Thank you for sharing 24 wonderful years of life with me Dad. 
I am who I am because of you.


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