Monday, December 22, 2014

Why We Fail at Relationships

We all have read or heard countless reasons to why relationships fail, and while some of the reasons are valid, such as lack of trust, or our lives become routine and we stop caring as much. 

The Truth of the matter is 
 Relationships don't fail; we do. 

We live in the age of technology; where social media, text messages and Internet porn are consuming almost every free second we have.  
We constantly compare one another to other men, to other women, and then we start comparing ourselves to people. We compare each other to TV stars, to models, to porn stars, etc. Then we start to wonder why we never measure up and we fill ourselves with self-doubt, and we forget how to love ourselves. 
If we cant love ourselves how can we expect anyone else to love us, or for  that matter for ourselves to love anyone. 
The answer: We cannot.

The problem stems from many things; but mostly from Internet and cellphone apps. Take for example Snapchat, where the illusion of the idea that photos will be instantly deleted once seen, unless the receiver is smart enough to know how to use screenshot.  How about Instagram, where we post half nude selfies in order to get likes, where we post photos of our lives in order to see how many people like the way we live, or Hot or not where we set ourselves up to be rated by our peers, and then we wonder why people have eating disorders or body image issues. We constantly look for approval everywhere, except where it matter the most. The approval to live our lives how we want without caring what others think.

 Lastly but not least of all in the list of things that tearing us from what a true relationship is the unlimited dating sites at our fingertips, in which we can flip through thousands of people, find one we think is attractive and in a sense order them up to our door like you would order pizza. If you didn't like that particular slice you have the option of sending it back and looking for a new slice to order up. Sometimes you might even order up more than one person to your door at a time. We start treating each other like we are options on an endless buffet, we constantly claim that if our relationship fails, that its not a big deal because there are more fish in the sea. Yet we are never ever truly satisfied. 
Yet we still wonder why people are afraid to commit. 

We parade our relationship around on social media, portraying that we have a perfect one. Where its all love and not a single fight. We post our couple photos up on facebook and Instagram to get the satisfaction that others see how perfect our truly imperfect relationship is. Other couple compare themselves to these photos and question why they don't have photos like that with their partner. We constantly try to one up each other in our relationships by posting every outing and every single event to our timelines. Constantly we look to the approval of others in our everyday lives, never satisfied just living life for ourselves.   

We walk down the street with our significant other and know that every woman that passes by gets the sideway glances from our man, and that we as women are just as guilty of looking at men. Society tells us that its okay to look as long as we don't touch, its okay to lust after someone when you are already in a relationship, and that above all its okay to cheat as long as you don't get caught. We live in a society that openly accepts and promotes infidelity. With T.V. shows like Mistresses, Satisfaction, The Affair and Married that showing us just how easily we could get away with it.

We get lost in our phones, whether it be games, Facebook, tumblr or any other site for that matter. We use text messaging as a means to communicate our thoughts and feelings, but words no matter how well written, it can not convey the context in your voice or the true emotion behind your emojis. We consider "Good morning" or "Good night" texts to be a good effort in our relationships. 

Is there any reason to wonder why thing don't work out? 

Romance has been so watered down that we what we think is romantic is in fact not. 
We think Romance is doing something new or spontaneous for our partner, like wearing lingerie to entice the man we are seeing or spending absurd amounts of money on jewelry to buy that persons love. 
Romance is more than that, its not manufactured in a store, you can not buy it, it is completely individual. What one person thinks is romantic may not be for someone else, but I can tell you what I think is romantic at least for the majority of people. Romance; it comes from holding hands while going on a long walk, sitting at the beach while watching the sunset or rise. Its having dinner alone where cellphones are turned off, and for once all your attention is given to the person sitting directly in front of you and not to the glowing blue light of your phone. It the conversations about nothing in particular, its the enjoyment of the company before you, it is an always will be more than chocolate cover fruit and roses, its about quality time spent together. 

Relationships, like many things take time to grow and mature, most people jump in head first without building a solid foundation to land on. We rush in with our hearts full of lust, but when the initial feelings start to fade we snap back to reality, we start to second guess our choices, and that is when doubt set in. 

So maybe just maybe you are the reason things are not working out for you the way you would like. 
Lets try an experiment, regardless if you are in a relationship now, or looking for someone, when you are with that person, give them your attention. If you just went on a date with someone you met online, delete the dating app if it went well. If you're on a date set everything else aside as if it doesn't matter and talk to the person. Ask them about their day, their goals, and their dreams. 

Stop comparing them to other people, stop comparing yourself. 
Stop acting like people are options, because eventually they will choose to leave you. 
Stop acting like social media is more important than the rough day your partner had.
Nothing and I mean nothing is more important that what is happening right before your eyes. 
Stop having unrealistic expectations about your partner, they are not perfect and neither are you.  

XOXO- That Girl Rika

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Baby its Cold Outside

School has been keeping me busy, but here is a little update, I have been super stoked about all the snow, winter is one of my favorite times of year, I absolutely love the scenery when its covered in snow.   
As you can see Winter has certainly come at full force these past week. We had an insane freak snow storm here in Washington state. I am just grateful the Jacket I order from came just in time. 

Here are a few photos from that day....

Want to get these Item for yourself, just click on the photos below.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Shadow Play- Lost in the Digital World

I have so much to say to you all, but how can I get what I have to say across to you, how can I get you to understand the importance behind what I have to say. 

I guess this will have to do, so this post is a call to action to all of you who will read this.
Don't take what I say lightly, for if you listen closely and truly read and try to understand my point, you will be a better person for it. 

You are selfish, you might not even know it, but by nature you do what it takes it insure your survival and yours alone. 
This needs to change, we as a society are consumed with ourselves, I too am guilty of this, but at least I can admit it, and I am doing something to change it. 

I have already lived through a school shooting in which I lost a dear friend, and what bothered me most was not the fact that it happened, but that we as a community only came together in the wake of the travesty.  It is the same for all community who has suffered a loss as great as this, they come together to stand in solidarity with other schools who have also shared this experience, but why cant we just support each other always. Why does it take such extreme violence to ignite the spark of comradery between people.  

In the wake of the recent shootings to hit Seattle and many other cities around the country, has anyone, any single person thought, what can I do to make this stop?. I doubt that anyone has thought this, but rather you have all been thinking WHY? why did this happen, why did they do it, why, why, why. 

Well here is my opinion on why the youth of today is going a bit insane, and my answer to the allusive WHY.

I am much older than most college students, I am a non-traditional student, entering in way after graduating from high school. I have observed over the last 4 years of my college education as well as my earlier education years, the way my peers interact with each other. 

We spend countless hours attached to our phones, our computers, our televisions. 
What are we really gaining from these things? 
Not much... I can tell you at least a dozen things we are losing, and the biggest of them all is our ability to think critically, to analyze situations, and to communicate effectively.

 Why is it that no matter what school you attend people tend to flock into predefined clicks. Why is it that the jocks only hangout with jocks and cheerleaders. The nerds only with each other. and so on for each labeled group there is. 

It is because we allow ourselves to be defined but what we do and not who we are. 
I am not just a Business student, a worker, a friend, a girlfriend, a daughter, a mentor...
I am all of this and more, and I refuse to let anyone define me any other way. 
You are not just one thing , you are many things, and those things are what make you special. 
So don't be afraid to befriend people from a different place, venture outside your comfort zone.  
I mean life is only a sum of your experience so why not try to experience it all. 

To be quite frank, people don't actually interact anymore, or at least the majority no longer do. How can you listen to someone while your face is practically glued to your phone. How can you comprehend what is being asked of you if you're busy reading, typing or watching something else while someone is talking to you. 
The answer is you can't, and chances are what you are reading or listening to is just mindless time filler crap anyways, that has no value to your life. 
How do you think the Kardashian's got famous, I can tell you its not because they actually do anything worth knowing about, but because the sell themselves off to be mindless filler in your Friday night line up.  

We are so self consumed about the daily lives of others that we forget to live our own. We are losing our means of effective communication, and when someone does something to make us upset, instead of talking it out with them, we either bottle it up, or react in an unsettling way. 
This needs to stop, if someone makes you mad, tell them, how can we learn what hurts and doesn't hurt if no one tells you. 
Think about it ...
how did you learn that fire was hot... 
someone told you, and if they didn't tell you then well you probably got burned. 

We are no longer disciplined for our actions, we are sent into time out, where we don't fully understand the consequence of our actions. So we repeat them, until its too late to learn the right way to deal with our issues. 
I am not saying that a timeout doesn't work, but if all you are doing is isolating someone what have they really learned from their actions. That they can leave others for a while, then return as if nothing happened, and repeat or continue to do whatever it was they were doing in the first place. 

Children, Teens, Adults, I call you to action. Stop isolating your peers, stop judging people based on what they wear, where they are from, who they know, how they talk, or anything else for that matter. No one is perfect, no one is above anyone else, we all live on this planet together, so why not do it peacefully. You are the future of this world, and if you make it a dark place to live in all you will ever get in return is shadow play.  People hiding in the dark waiting for you to be vulnerable, and alone. Not because this is how they want to be, but because society as a whole has made them this way. 
So before you talk behind someones back, or gossip, or make fun of somebody, think about the impact it will have not only on them, but also how your peers will see you. Do you want to be known as a bully, a bitch, a whore, any of these things.. probably not, so why call someone else these things.  

Parents I call you to action, if your child does something that is unethical, harmful, hurtful or just plain rude, EXPLAIN to them why it is. DO NOT just reprimand them for the actions, all that teaches them is that punishment equals nothing. They need to understand why they are in trouble, and that certain actions equate to the loss of certain rights and freedoms. 

Our youth of today does not know how to effectively communicate their issues, troubles, fears, dreams, hopes, goals. We need to better equip them for the real world, not the fantasy one you would like them to believe is out there. 
If you send your child in to the world, without the right tools how can you expect them to succeed. 
Failure, yes is an important part of the learning process, but how they deal with failure will determine how they deal with other things in their lives. Failure does not have to be bad, it can be a learning experience in which they see the good in the bad, and not just the bad. 
Stop letting your self and the people around you stay naive and closed minded to the harsh reality of the world. 

Lastly, Mental Disabilities and  Mental disorders and issues are real, and we need to take care of the people who have these issues. We need to stop condemning them as if they had a choice in the matter. Being of sound mind is not a choice, some people are born a particular way, and we need to invest the time to research how to help them overcome this. 
Many people suffer and end up on the streets because no one wanted to help them, or people are frighten of them. We need to take a stand as a country, we need to focus on the needs of our people and save the lives of the people here. before stretching out our hands to other countries. Charity is great, it does wonders, but if we can't help the people in our own backyard, what makes us think we can help others. 

Finally the answer to the WHY: is simple...

These people who commit acts of violence against their peers do it for many reason, but above all they do it because they want to be heard. They are making a statement, which more often than not is that they no longer wish to be ignored. 

So I urge you all to listen closely when someone speaks to you, and to take what they have to say seriously. Put down your phone, in fact turn it off, nothing that is on facebook, or twitter or instagram is more important than hearing someone hopes and dreams, fears and regrets.
They might be troubled by something, hurt or even feel lost. 
If you fail to do this, and decide not to hear them out all they will ever learn is that they do not matter and how they feel is not important. What they do is irrelevant in the eyes of others, and that their actions have no consequences. 

So stop playing in the shadows of life, and enter in to light. Be a beacon for the people around you, and set examples for your peers.

I am not saying that Technology is the reason to why shootings occur, but it is the reason we have lost the ability to communicate in person effectively. Why we have trouble talking about our feelings, because its easier to hide behind the screen and pretend all is okay. We allow the false sense of Internet friendships/relationships to over run our real life ones.
Take a break from technology to explore and learn in the real world, you would be surprised by what you find.

XOXO- Rika


Monday, October 13, 2014

Behind Blue Eyes

Happy Birthday
 to the Greatest Man I have ever known. 
Randall Joe Graham (Orbit) aka Randy
Oct 13th, 1961- Jan 12th, 2011
It has been almost 4 years since my Father passed away, and not a single moment in time goes by where he is not on my mind. My father taught me a lot of things in life, but the strongest lesson he ever taught me was that life is too short to live in the past and to regret things. 
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once wrote 
" we are all architects of fate, so look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again." 

Some memories will stay forever etched into our minds, and the moment I learned my father had passed is still just as vivid in my mind as it was then. They say with time, all things are healed, but I believe that statement to be false. Time does not heal, it covers, it allows you to learn how to live with out some one. It is simply a band aid we put over our wounds, in hopes that they will heal, but once they do we are left with a scar, a constant reminder of the past, the tragedy and the pain. 
My father was only 49 when he passed away, and it completely and utterly devastated me. You see, I share a special bond that not many people are able to share with the parent. The day my father turn 25, I was born into this world, and ever since I have shared that special bond with my father.
My Father was an extraordinary soul, he grace my life with his presence for as long as he could. He taught me in many ways, the type of person I should become. I can not say my father was the best role model in my life, but I can say with much love and adoration, that he did the best he could to do right by me and my siblings. 

My father was the first man in my life, and in being so, he taught me how to love, how to fall, and how to pick my self up. He taught me how to ride a bike,
 but not just any bike, a dirt bike. My father made every effort to be in my life, he attended every school event I had, especially if it was a sport event. He was my coach in baseball, and pushed me to be a fair and team player. He inspired me to love animals the same way he did. I can remember from some of my earliest memories that we always had a dog. I can name at least 5-10 dogs we had while growing up. He taught me that no matter where you are in life, if you try your best that is all that matters. 

Some of you may know the life my father lead wasn't always the best. He made poor choices in his life that ultimately lead to his death.  Although my father was not all ways present in my life, he did make and effort to remind me of the fact that he loved me very much. My father had a rough life, his father walked out on his mom and left my dad and uncle with no explanation. He was just gone, this is the start of what lead my father down a troubled path, and the last song he sang to me was
" Behind Blue Eyes." by the Who-  This song sums up how my dad felt about his life, his struggles, and his addiction.

The last memory I have of my father was just after my 24th birthday, he and his wife joined me for dinner at La Palmera in Everett. It was the first time in many years that I saw my father completely sober.  It was amazing to see, the changes he had made, and devastating that a short four months later he would leave this world for good. 

My fathers body may no longer walk this earth, but his soul remains forever, broken in to piece and lodged in every heart he ever touched. At his core my Father was and is a loving and gentle soul. 

 'Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like a stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.' -John Steinbeck 
Here is to you Dad, 
I am grateful for all that you are and all that you were. 
I love you and miss you. 
Celebrate in Heaven
For today you turn 53 Dad, 
and I turn 28.
Thank you for sharing 24 wonderful years of life with me Dad. 
I am who I am because of you.


Sunday, October 12, 2014

Say What? My 28th Birthday! With Tribute to Jourdan Bradley

This year my birthday landed on Monday, so I decided to celebrate over the weekend before my birthday. 

I didn't do anything extravagant, just celebrated with those who I consider near and dear to my heart.
I want to say a special thank you to those who took the time out of their lives to spend time with me. I had an amazing time with you all. 

I also want to dedicate this post to a young life that was lost on Friday afternoon. 

Jourdan Bradley

October 25, 1989
October 10, 2014

EMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad
-Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
 I did not know Jourdan personally, but my younger sister was very good friends with her. 
Despite what the the media has reported, I wholeheartedly believe that she was not racing, 
and that this tragedy was indeed a matter of poor circumstances and an accident. 
As for the other car involved, I urge you to come forward with your side of the story. 
Please put the rumors to rest, and show the world that you are indeed the loving, caring and compassionate soul that I assume that you are.

Phil Chumley, I know you will make it through, Jourdan is watching over you, and she will see that you make a full recovery. 

Hold a Moment of Silence tonight for Jourdan.
Rest easy, Beautiful

XOxo: That Girl Rika

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Dance For Paul- The Movement

If you have not read my past post, 
I suggest you read it before divulging yourself into this post. As it will give you insight on what this post means, not only to me, but to the community that Paul Lee belonged to.
Read it Here

UW Hip Hop Student Association
and I, along with some friends decided to put together a music video to pay tribute to Paul Lee.
His passion for dance was evident, and he naturally shared his love through it. 
We decided to share in his love of dance, and Give back to his family.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Steel Beast

For a very long time I use to write short stories inspired by all the things I have never done. It is far to late for me to share this experience in real life with my Father, but; if he were still here, still alive, this is how I would Imagine my first train ride.

The Steel Beast
As I stood at the edge of the run down and shabby looking train station, I could start to feel the ground quake beneath me. I could hear the high pitched wail of the whistle blowing through the air as it released the built up steam. It was barreling down the line like race dogs at the track; it was headed straight towards me.
The steel beast was making its way towards the platform, the gears switched and the breaks pushed down trying to stop the massive steel wheels from turning. It finally halted only feet from where I was standing. The doors slowly opened and a flood of people poured out like a dam that just gave way. I could still feel the heat of the engine as the steel beast lay still, only letting out whispers of steam from the still burning coals.
It was my first time, being so close to a steel beast, I was truly amazed at how massive it truly was. I looked over to my right, there was my father, with the same look of amazement plastered on his face.
Dad…..Are you sure you want to get on?” I asked, with a bit of hesitation lingering on my voice.
I’m not worried about me……are you sure that you want to?” he softly replied.
I took my first step up the three step staircase; I could barely make out the interior of the cabin when my father jumped behind me.
Who said you could go first?” as he chuckled. He walked down the corridor as he looked for a place to sit. I followed closely behind him unsure of what to say to him. Finally, I got enough courage to ask the one thing that had been lingering on my mind for the last few weeks.
Dad……Why are we leaving?” My heart was racing as I waited for the answer. My father took a seat at the last row near the back of the corridor, and ushered me to sit down across from him. His face crippled with sadness and regret, he parted his lips and spoke something I thought I would never hear him say.
Well…kid, we are leaving because we don’t belong, this town just isn’t for us, we need something better than this, you deserve better than this.” He spoke with his head in his hands. I had known for some time that things were not going well at home and me being daddy’s little girl, I was ready to leave it all behind.
I slouched back into my seat, looked out my window and let out a sigh of relief. I could hear the ticket man outside my window.
All aboard” He yelled, as the steel beast began to spring in to life. The engine started to roar as if it were a lion. The ticket man slowly made his way through the corridor punching tickets, As he can closer I could make out that he was a tall and lean man, with an ash grey beard and a weathered face that almost looked like leather.
Are you ready for an adventure?” He asked me as he took our tickets.
Of course” My face lighted up as I replied. “This is my first train ride”
Oh is see, I have something special just for you then” he said as he pulled a bucket filled with suckers out from behind the last seat. As I reached my hand in a grabbed one for myself, my father spoke up.
Aren’t you going to get me one too? This is my first train ride too you know.” He said with a smirk.
The ticket man turned and walked back down the corridor, he disappeared for quite some time. When he finally returned he had a Motorman hat and jumpsuit. He handed the hat to me and the suit to my father; we looked up at him and wondered what the items were for.
Alright, now put this on, and follow me” said the ticket man,
What is this for?” I quickly replied.
This is to protect you in the engine room.” He replied.
We get to see the engine room?” My father and I said in unison.
It is your lucky day; we normally don’t let people see how trains work, but the Motorman made a special exception for you two.” The ticket man said.
We followed him down the corridor of the train and into the engine room. There were so many levers, pulleys, switches and buttons. I never imagined it would look like this, my father and I stood in sheer awe of the engine room.
Are you ready to learn how to drive this train?” questioned the Motorman 
You can teach me?” I replied
I sure can, First you need to push the Johnson bar forward, grip the very large lever that rises from near the floor in front of you,…. squeeze the release handle and shove it all the way forward, and let go of the release handle to lock it into place.” The Motorman instructed.
Okay, what is next?” I eagerly replied.
Open the cylinder cocks - find a medium size valve in front of you on the boiler, Turn the valve all the way clockwise.” He replied.
Dad, it’s your turn to do it” I said in an over excited voice.
My dad began to follow all of the Motorman’s instructions, carefully listing to what he was saying. He made sure to follow each and every step exactly as told.
Turn the front headlight on - above you on the ceiling, there will be a large, flat, half-round box. Slide the knob on the round side of the box all the way to front. Blow the about-to-move-forward whistle. Pull down on the cable twice to make the steam whistle sound out two short blasts. Release the engine brakes, the two brass horizontal levers on your left. The top one must be moved from right to left to release the brakes. That very long lever in front of your face is the throttle. Open the throttle; this will make the train move. Grip it firmly and give it a pull it toward you.” The Motorman instructed.
The train pulled forward and out of the station, it slowly built up speed like an avalanche coming down a steep mountain side, before we knew it, the Steel Beast was going full speed and we had started our journey to a new home.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Midnight Rendezvous

Last night was absolutely amazing. 
Every day this man gives me one more reason to love him. 
I have never felt so loved and cherished in my life. 
A simple walk, hand in hand through my neighborhood, brought me closer to him. 
Nights like last night, remind me why love is so precious, and when you finally find the right person, 
there is nothing at all that can tear you apart. 
Taking in my surroundings, I saw just how beautiful life is, 
and how blessed I am to be able to spend my life with someone who see it too.
During our midnight rendezvous we came across a curious cat.
This lovely creature followed us on our walk.

 There was surprisingly a lot of interesting things in my neighborhood,
 I have lived here for over a year and haven't really walked around.
It was great to talk about life, love, 
but even more great to stand in pure silence and just take in the world around us.
I would never trade a night like this for anything in the world.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

You Painted Black upon the Whitest Lies.....

Play the First song on the Sound Cloud Player...
Listen and Read!

Have you ever been in a relationship or even friendship with a liar?
It can be painfully deceptive, and honestly just down right confusing.
I know I am not alone, in this feeling, the utter disgust and feelings of complete betrayal. 
For so long, I have simply let people tell me what ever they wanted, 
white lies, small lies, big lies. 
Where has it gotten me?? 
No where..

It has left me with nothing...why do I allow people to lie to me?
I am left feeling like a boat with no anchor, not rooted to anything anywhere.

These are the Hard Truths I have learned through out my years of letting people lie to me...
Maybe just maybe...
 this post will stop you from wasting time on someone who constantly lie to you.

TRUTH: is a steady force, it is heavy and hard to carry. It is the anchor that keeps us in the present, here in reality, and it is completely irreplaceable.
 Once you lie to someone, no matter how many times you tell the truth after..
 they will never believe you. 
Now let me make something clear, there is a difference between people who lie and liars. 
Everyone at some point or another will lie to you. WHITE LIES are a huge thing in our culture.
Most people are not even aware that they are lying until some one else points it out. 
Excuses are often masked as White Lies, or half truths, either way they are still a lie. 
Telling the truth is hard, its humbling and more times than not, embarrassing. 
Being strong enough to admit you were wrong, and apologize to those you hurt takes courage.
Courage most people cant seem to find with in them self's, 
so they let their lies fester until it comes back and bits them in the ass. 
The only thing worse than lying, is being caught in a lie.

Opposite of White liars, are Habitual Liars. 
Habitual Liars have made a life out of lying. There whole life style is built on deceit, 
they live in a false reality. They are so deep in their own lies, they actually believe them themselves.

But why do people lie, what is it that motivates them to lie?
Well there are 3 things for sure that I know of. 
1. Liars are in Love with Themselves:
Liars make every situation about themselves, they don't think about how their words or actions will impact others. They don't want to look stupid in front of others and they don't want to admit that they are wrong. Liars are short sighted and only look for the easy way out. 

2.Liars are Cowards:
That's right, I said it.. they are Cowards. Anyone who lacks the mental strength and courage to tell the truth is a coward. Coward are hard to love, they will constantly frustrate you. Instead of admitting that they are human and made a mistake, they will lie to cover it up. 

3. Liars have Nothing to fall back on. 
At the end of the day, once someone finds out someone is a liar,
 that is pretty much it for what ever type of relationship they were in. I mean, what do you have at the end of the day, at the end of ones life if not your reputation and good name?
Liars essentially cut out the legs beneath them, falling on to nothing. By lying constantly they burn the bridges with their family and friends. Their lives become a meaningless wasteland, easily forgotten and dismissed. 

I have met many people who are habitual liars, and it took me quite some time to figure it out. 
I have had 10+ year long friendships end because I could no longer take being lied to. 
If you have ever met some one who constantly lied to you, what did you do about it?
Did you call them out? or did you keep your mouth shut and let them lie to you even though you knew the truth?

I once stayed in a relationship for over 2 years because I though I loved this person, 
but the whole time he cheated on me.
  I knew about it, but I never called him out on it. 
When I finally did point out.. that I knew what was happening he lied to my face about it.
At that point I just didn't care if I though I loved him or not. I only cared about our relationship being built on trust, and it no longer was. 
So I let that "ship" set sail...
I vowed that if I ever suspected that someone was lying to me, I would call them out on the spot.
I would never allow some one to abuse my trust towards them...
Once you burn the bridge.. its gone..
tell them.....

you painted black over the whitest lies.