Wednesday, August 6, 2014

All That Glitters is not Gold.....

Have you ever been fooled by someone or something,  regardless of who or what it was,  but by the simple fact that it was new, it was able to cast an illusion over you? I have met many people like this, who first impression is so good, it makes you question their motives.
Sometimes you are proven wrong, your assumptions unfounded, but what about the times your are right? What do you do then?

Just a little over three months ago I met someone who "I" thought was my friend. However, in this case I was gravely mistaken. Like most of my posts, I will leave this person unnamed. I'm not about calling people out, but I am about the lessons that can be learned.

So let's start at the beginning....

I have a pretty long commute most days of the week when school is in. So sometimes I stay with friends in Capital Hill. While perusing the Internet.."Facebook" I saw that I had a few friends in common with someone I had not met, but lived fairly close to another good friend of mine. I added this person and we chatted on FB for while before deciding to meet up at LA Cocina in Capital Hill. 
I met this person.. Lets call them "A".. no not the A from pretty little liars... but I guess they are both as devious.

We started to hang out daily, we watched the World Cup at local bars around Capital Hill, we out to eat or just walked around. I told A that I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship, that things between us would never progress past the point they were at. A agreed and stated that he also didn't want anything serious and that being friends worked for him.

During this time I was still hanging out with my other friends, and started to put mine and A's friendship on the back burner. I really didn't want to lead him on by constantly being around, so I started hanging out with other friends again. About a week later I met up with A again and he told me that if I ever need a place to stay when I have early morning class or work, that I could stay in his spare room.

I took advantage of the offer, and stay about two times over the course of 2 1/2 months.
The Third time is stayed however things went a lot different than before. I worked that whole weekend so I decided to stay the night at his place. After I got off work we met up at the local animal shelter over by my school, to look at puppies because it had only been about 3 weeks since the shooting at my school, and when my puppy died. I was hurting still and really just wanted to hang out with some puppies and maybe even adopt a new one. However there were no dogs available for adoption, weird I know.

So since that feel through we had a lot of time on our hands. We decided to head back to Capital Hill and grab some stuff at QFC to eat for dinner. Later that night A got a hold of his friend who had a dog and lived closed by. He agreed to let us take his dog on walk, from what I was told by A, this dog is kept kenneled all day, and is never really taken out side. So the dog is super anxious and nervous around other people and other dogs.

We walked the Dog for about an hour, then return him home to his owner.  A and I decided to head back to his place. We started watching the Lego movie, but I was getting tired so I decided to go lay down in the spare room. Before I fell asleep I got a message from Marco, he told me he had a battle to attend that night, and I replied back saying that I was taking a nap and that I would come down there to watch. Marco wrote back that he would message me when he got to Seattle. I sat my phone down to charge, and passed out around 8:30ish.

When I woke up it was almost 10:30, I was late for the battle Marco told me about. So I started to get ready and pack my things. I walked towards the door which I had left slightly cracked. I could hear A talking on Skype to his League of Legends friends. I listen for a quick second not really thinking much of it. I figured they were just talking about a character in game. I listened even more intently, and It dawned on me that he was talking about me, about my body, about sexual things that had never happened between us.

He degraded my worth over the Internet, he belittled me to nothing more than a prostitute. He talked about how he thought parts of my body were fake, but he couldn't actually know, but he elude to the fact that he had touched me, and had sex with me. Even though none of that was true.
I sat behind that door, in shock, tears ran down my face. This man who claimed to care about me as a friend, who helped me deal with some of the most immeasurable loss. Stabbed me in the back. I heard movement in the living room, so I jumped back into the bed. As I did I hear A state " I better check and see what she is doing, I don't want her to hear this." I laid in the bed and pretend to sleep.
Inside I was furious, I wanted to get up and destroy everything with in my reach.
I heard him approach the guest bedroom, the opened the door looked at me, even though my eyes were closed I could feel his stare fall upon my body.

Every atom in my body was screaming with hatred towards that man who stood just feet from where I laid. He slowly turned away and shut the door.

I waited 5 minutes, slowly got up. Grabbed my things, and walked to the door. I listen for him again, he had resumed talking about me to his friends. I slowly turned the knob on the spare room, and open it. I walked across the hall and dumped his keys on the table by the front door. I proceed to open the front door the same as I did for the other door. Once out side, I ran; I ran as fast as I could to my car. I hoped that he wouldn't notice that I was gone until I had reached my car.

I got inside my car, put all my things in my back seat and cried for an hour straight. How could I have not seen the type of person he was. He had told me that he use to be selfish and had a hard time keeping friends, but that he had changed and was trying to be a better person. I believed Him, I let him fool me into thinking he was a decent human being.

Once I calmed down, and could finally breath I headed into downtown. I sent a text to Marco, telling him that I was just going to head home. He asked me why I didn't show up, I said that I fell asleep and woke up to late.However Marco knew something was wrong, he questioned me some more, until I finally gave in and told him everything that had happened.

While I was talking to Marco, A messaged me.." WTF... you left?"...
I responded " Yes, I left, I left your keys on the table by the door."
A: "Why didn't you say anything? You went to sleep and I decided to do some work and play league for bit."
ME: I don't care about that. I just decided to go home.
A: "Rika, Tell me whats wrong? are you mad at me or something?"
ME: "No, I just wanted to go home, I forgot I had something planned."
A: "Tell me whats wrong"
ME: "A, you are smart, I am sure you can figure out why I left."
No Message from A for about 45 minutes.

A: " Oh Shit, is it about what I was saying to my friends on league? I was just fucking around. I didn't mean any of it."
A: " They were bragging about how they made it to platinum, and I got irritated and bragged about how I got to spend all day with you."
ME: " I heard everything you said, everything about my body."
A: " I was just trying to make them jealous, that I got to hang out with a Hot girl. I didn't mean to disrespect you."
ME: "A we are no longer friends, please do not message me anymore. I don't care about what ever reasons you think you have for justifying your actions. You are just like every other asshole I have met."

"A" continued to message me through out the night, and into the next day, But I never responded.

 Sometimes you have to learn to cut people out. Even when you wish you didn't have to. The things that seem so important can change to be so insignificant in just a moments time. Like the flicker of a flame, thoughts and emotions could change from a slow burning fire into all consuming inferno.
What we hold dear to our hearts today may not be the same thing we hold dear tomorrow,
With each day, we must decide what is important and what is not.
If we are careless or forgetful things will change with out us noticing.
If we don't say what weighs on our hearts how will we ever know the truth.
Speak clearly the thoughts that run through your mind.
For only you can decided what path you will take and if you shall travel it as one.

I know that most people believe its hard to just be friends with the opposite sex. I however wholeheartedly disagree. I have many guy friends who have been just my friend for well over 8+ years. Who are in relationships with other people and genuinely are just my friends. It is possible, if both people actually mean to just be friends.

 Be careful who you let walk into your life. Trust people, but never completely, Believe in people, just never fully. Don't let the newness of the friendship cover up the red flags. Be thoughtful and aware.
"People trust their eyes above all else - but most people see what they wish to see, or what they believe they should see; not what is really there" - Zoë Marriott
Trust your Heart and your Gut above all else.
It will never steer you wrong.
And remember
All that Glitters is not Gold....

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